Two-handed voting

Here is the two-handed method of voting for president in 2012:

1. Hold out your left hand and count all of the truly beneficial things Mr. Obama and the Democrat party have done in the last three years.
2. Hold out your right hand and count all of the truly beneficial things the Republican party has done in the last three years.
3. Take your empty left hand and your empty right hand, and grasp the steering wheel of your car. Drive to the polling place and vote for Ron Paul.

True liberals like Ron because he wants individuals to be free to make choices that do not affect anyone else. True conservatives like Ron because he wants the most austere and non-invasive government possible short of anarchy. All Americans should like him because he wants to get the US out of being the world’s police force and his plan for getting the troops home is to immediately send ships to where they are and bring them all home. The world should like him because he believes in free and open markets where every country can enter the world’s markets and get a fair price for their goods regardless of where they are from. Useless embargoes, unreasonable tariffs, and taking advantage of emerging nations by paying their vendors sub-standard rates will eventually become a thing of the past.

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